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LJ Idol Minor+ - Prompt 7
Dec. 13th, 2021 07:18 pm(Prompt 7 - “Going Home")
Home
“You can’t return to a place you never left.”
--
As she approached the curve in the path that led to the rough stone stairs that served as the entrance to the valley, Kijeia reflected back on the last time she had been here. In her mind, she saw her own tracks on the ground, small barefoot feet appearing as little more than toes. She had traversed the area like a scared meerkat, constantly looking for potential signs of trouble. Beside her tiny tracks were the calmer and heavier imprints of a single set of wolf paws - her companion who had kept her safe all those years, but who did not live to see this place again.
She paused and knelt on the ground, running the tips of her fingers just above where the tracks lay in her mind. She bowed her head, letting her pendant come all the way down, the sharp point of the wolf claw etching a barely visible line in the sand beneath her. There she sat, until her emotions overcame her years of learned hardness, and tears began to flow. As they reached the tip of her nose and chin, some fell away and created small dots, like rain. The rest slowly travelled down her neck to her chest, joining with the heartache that threatened to suffocate her.
“I asked you back then, Fala, if you missed your son. I already knew your story, and I knew that you did. Now, I sit here in this same place, with no one who knows our story to ask me about you. But I am missing you all the same.” Visions of their shared past came like a flood, and she shut her eyes, not to stop the memories, but to let them flow freely. She needed to remember. If she did not, then what had it all been for?
And flow they did, mixing images of glass cliffs, rolling sands, boiling rivers, windswept fields, and frozen marshes. Fleeing through a burning forest. Finding comfort curled together in an abandoned bear cave. Unorganized and timeless, the memories threatened to bury her.
Finally, she turned her hands palms upward, cupping the large claw in her hand. Then she closed her hands around it and brought it to her chest, then up to her lips for a slow kiss, her eyes still closed. After another couple moments, she raised her head, and returned the pendant to inside her shirt, feeling its smoothness on her skin. It curled into the impression left in her skin from constant wear, and gave her the sense that her longtime companion was still with her. It also gave her the strength to stand up and to continue on.
“Maman?” A small voice, strong, but concerned, called out from the toddler behind her.
“Yes, child, I am okay. Come, let us walk together and go home.”
“Home? We live here?”
“Yes, child, we do. This has always been our home.”
“Not me.”
Kijeia smiled and turned to look at her daughter, then lifted her up so their faces met. Her daughter reached out tentatively and touched a drying tear on her mother’s cheek.
“You may not have seen this place before, but you have been here all your life, Merla.” She raised her daughter up further and nuzzled her wet nose into her chest, taking the opportunity to quickly wipe away her remaining tears on Merla’s blouse. “You carry your true country with you in your heart. That cannot be broken by distance or by time.” She lowered her daughter to eye level once again.
“This is who we are. This is where we remain.”
Merla’s face showed only confusion, and the look on it made Kijeia laugh, a small sound that brought a smile to both of their faces. Kijeia swung her daughter high up in the air and then set her down standing in front of her. She knelt down to look once again into her daughter’s eyes, shedding one final tear.
“Here.” Reaching into her shirt, she pulled the wolf claw pendant out and slowly removed the string from her neck. Merla’s eyes widened and then bowed her head slightly as her mother transferred her most prized possession to the most important person in her life. The string was too long for the young girl’s frame, but it was frayed and in need of replacement anyway. And there would be time and material to take care of that soon enough.
Merla held the claw in her hands and stared, her eyes wide and her thoughts overwhelmed. She had never known her mother to have taken the pendant off, as in fact, she never had. A combination of fear and awe filled her face as she looked back and forth from the claw to her mother’s face.
“For me?”
“For you.”
Merla wrapped her arms around her mother’s head, smothering her briefly and blocking out all other sights and sounds. Then she let go, tucked the pendant in her blouse, and slapped her stomach where the outline of the claw could be seen through the fabric.
“Home. Safe.”
Kijeia laughed once more, louder this time, then stood up and turned them both back towards the path to the stairs.
“Yes. Safe. Come now. Let’s go home.”
Home
“You can’t return to a place you never left.”
--
As she approached the curve in the path that led to the rough stone stairs that served as the entrance to the valley, Kijeia reflected back on the last time she had been here. In her mind, she saw her own tracks on the ground, small barefoot feet appearing as little more than toes. She had traversed the area like a scared meerkat, constantly looking for potential signs of trouble. Beside her tiny tracks were the calmer and heavier imprints of a single set of wolf paws - her companion who had kept her safe all those years, but who did not live to see this place again.
She paused and knelt on the ground, running the tips of her fingers just above where the tracks lay in her mind. She bowed her head, letting her pendant come all the way down, the sharp point of the wolf claw etching a barely visible line in the sand beneath her. There she sat, until her emotions overcame her years of learned hardness, and tears began to flow. As they reached the tip of her nose and chin, some fell away and created small dots, like rain. The rest slowly travelled down her neck to her chest, joining with the heartache that threatened to suffocate her.
“I asked you back then, Fala, if you missed your son. I already knew your story, and I knew that you did. Now, I sit here in this same place, with no one who knows our story to ask me about you. But I am missing you all the same.” Visions of their shared past came like a flood, and she shut her eyes, not to stop the memories, but to let them flow freely. She needed to remember. If she did not, then what had it all been for?
And flow they did, mixing images of glass cliffs, rolling sands, boiling rivers, windswept fields, and frozen marshes. Fleeing through a burning forest. Finding comfort curled together in an abandoned bear cave. Unorganized and timeless, the memories threatened to bury her.
Finally, she turned her hands palms upward, cupping the large claw in her hand. Then she closed her hands around it and brought it to her chest, then up to her lips for a slow kiss, her eyes still closed. After another couple moments, she raised her head, and returned the pendant to inside her shirt, feeling its smoothness on her skin. It curled into the impression left in her skin from constant wear, and gave her the sense that her longtime companion was still with her. It also gave her the strength to stand up and to continue on.
“Maman?” A small voice, strong, but concerned, called out from the toddler behind her.
“Yes, child, I am okay. Come, let us walk together and go home.”
“Home? We live here?”
“Yes, child, we do. This has always been our home.”
“Not me.”
Kijeia smiled and turned to look at her daughter, then lifted her up so their faces met. Her daughter reached out tentatively and touched a drying tear on her mother’s cheek.
“You may not have seen this place before, but you have been here all your life, Merla.” She raised her daughter up further and nuzzled her wet nose into her chest, taking the opportunity to quickly wipe away her remaining tears on Merla’s blouse. “You carry your true country with you in your heart. That cannot be broken by distance or by time.” She lowered her daughter to eye level once again.
“This is who we are. This is where we remain.”
Merla’s face showed only confusion, and the look on it made Kijeia laugh, a small sound that brought a smile to both of their faces. Kijeia swung her daughter high up in the air and then set her down standing in front of her. She knelt down to look once again into her daughter’s eyes, shedding one final tear.
“Here.” Reaching into her shirt, she pulled the wolf claw pendant out and slowly removed the string from her neck. Merla’s eyes widened and then bowed her head slightly as her mother transferred her most prized possession to the most important person in her life. The string was too long for the young girl’s frame, but it was frayed and in need of replacement anyway. And there would be time and material to take care of that soon enough.
Merla held the claw in her hands and stared, her eyes wide and her thoughts overwhelmed. She had never known her mother to have taken the pendant off, as in fact, she never had. A combination of fear and awe filled her face as she looked back and forth from the claw to her mother’s face.
“For me?”
“For you.”
Merla wrapped her arms around her mother’s head, smothering her briefly and blocking out all other sights and sounds. Then she let go, tucked the pendant in her blouse, and slapped her stomach where the outline of the claw could be seen through the fabric.
“Home. Safe.”
Kijeia laughed once more, louder this time, then stood up and turned them both back towards the path to the stairs.
“Yes. Safe. Come now. Let’s go home.”
